fullhouse

Kkatuwa nmn itong latest craze ko..actually for 5 months ko na tong obsession.

Fullhouse - a Korean miniseries that I believed aired in Phil way back 2005 kaso di ko yon masyadong pansin college times kase. Kakabrowse ko ng mga site at dahil sa konting impluwensya ni ate riza eh natagpuan ko ang Fullhouse sa youtube. Katuwa nmn itong series na ito. Ang ganda kase ang storyline and pagkakaportray sa mga characters ang galing nila. Everytime I watch this natatawa pa din ako.

Im not really a fanatic person but now im a big big fan of Song hye kyo. Ganda nya talaga ang galing nila ni Rain sa show.Sa bagay kahit nmn nung sa endless love pa lng eh stunning n sya dun.
Sa totoo nga eh ito ang nakatulong sa kin nung nasa stage ako ng nkakainis na getting over. But really this show helped me a lot. Para kase ang nangyari is that I’m so into the show that it diverted my emotion.

If there might be one thing im obsessed with right now..it will be “Fullhouse”

aja aja fighting!

i have broken someone's routine

Yesterday I ride with Mr. Anas our Asst. Project Manager. The trip is like passing from Layac Bataan to San Fernando Pampangga. A 1-hour trip. That point would be a good chance for us to have this little getting-to-know conversation. In the middle of our trip he ask me how do I see life...geez!!! seems quite a long time that kind of question pitched on me. He got me thinking by that question. He said in every part of us there is this feeling of freedom you want to have. He has his family w/ him, a good work, a nice car and been to different places but still there is an empy space. He might sound selfish to others but its not a matter of selfishness he said. I understand what he wants to express. I told him that life here in Dubai is routinary. You’re waking up to work going home to sleep. “exactly” that's what he responded. Life is a routine! And sometimes he feels like this emptiness might break his routine. So I told him that life is really hard and it’s only in us on how to make it simple yet meaningful. Someday he will find what’s missing and he will eventually feel satisfied and fulfilled. I really enjoyed that conversation reflections of life and the true riches of it. esp nowadays that i'm getting confused with what im becoming..if i'm being overdrivven with material pleasures. But i guess that conversation gave me an answer.

Before he drop me he said this..

“thank you kathy..you break my routine today.”

ako pala ang nawalan..

habang sinusulat ko ang latest update ko dito nabanggit ko si "minsan naging matalik na kaibigan"..haay

isa kase siya sa taong may malaking contribution sa kung anung sitwasyon mayroon ako ngayon..

naisip ko lang na..siya at ang aking unang minahal ay magkasama..
si minsang minahal at ang kanyang prinsesa ay magksama..

ako pala..

ako pala ang nawalan..

ibig sabihin ba nito ako ang nagkamali?..ako nga ba?..ako nga kaya?...

Oversee overseas

May tawag na naman daw si sir from piyu. Naalala nya tuloy kameng mga estudyante nya. Ayus at sa isang kategoryang sinabi nya ay kasali ako..ang kategoryang nangibang bansa..ngunit sa part kaya ni sir eh masaya sya sa ganon..i mean knowing sir paeng eh makabayan yan and working abroad is not his option. malungkot man isipin at tanggapin reality bites eh napakahirap mamuhay sa atin ngayon. Sa bagay sa sitwasyon ko naman eh di dahil sa kahirapan ng buhay kung bakit ako umalis kundi sa isang napakahalagang rason..ang dugsungan ng buhay ang aking ina..

Looking back..working abroad is really one of my dreams. Never did i expect it will come well this early perhaps. And here I am working earning achieving but I miss a LOT of my true riches and that is my family and friends. Sabi ni minsang minahal na pag ng-abroad ka sayang ang panahon na mawawalay ka sa iyong pamilya sabi naman ng minsang kong naging matalik na kaibigan kaya nga “love is sacrifice” nagsasakrispisyo ka dahil para din yon sa mga taong mahal mo. Saan nga ba ako lulugar? sa bagay sa palagay ko kahit naman sino ay aayon sa desisyon kong mangibang bansa hindi lang naman dahil sa rason ng kaginhawaan kundi dahil sa kailangan.

…teka naisip ko lang ako pala ang nawalan

serendipity

Serendipity - the faculty or phenomenon of finding valuable or agreeable things not sought for and or a natural gift for making useful discoveries by accident

testimonial of Dean Kansky from the movie Serendipity..

"Jonathan Trager, prominent television producer for ESPN, died last night from complications of losing his soul mate and his fiancee. He was 35 years old. Soft-spoken and obsessive, Trager never looked the part of a hopeless romantic. But, in the final days of his life, he revealed an unknown side of his psyche. This hidden quasi-Jungian persona surfaced during the Agatha Christie-like pursuit of his long reputed soul mate, a woman whom he only spent a few precious hours with. Sadly, the protracted search ended late Saturday night in complete and utter failure. Yet even in certain defeat, the courageous Trager secretly clung to the belief that life is not merely a series of meaningless accidents or coincidences. Uh-uh. But rather, its a tapestry of events that culminate in an exquisite, sublime plan. Asked about the loss of his dear friend, Dean Kansky, the Pulitzer Prize-winning author and executive editor of the New York Times, described Jonathan as a changed man in the last days of his life. "Things were clearer for him," Kansky noted. Ultimately Jonathan concluded that if we are to live life in harmony with the universe, we must all possess a powerful faith in what the ancients used to call "fatum", what we currently refer to as destiny."

Happiness is not enough to say things are meant for you and same as love that would not be enough to say you’re happy. There is this feeling of emptiness inside needed to be sufficed. Once it is filled-in then you are complete...you’re in-love and you’re happy. I’m a great destiny believer but believe me you cannot rely on destiny alone. It’s not all about fortune and coincidental matter. It’s about you! The chances you're having and the choices you're making. Be careful with what the world bequeaths on you. You see everything here has a purpose and everything around you matter so just be aware you might be ignoring small gestures but in the end you’ll realized…its has meaning..its one step closer to LIFE.

nightmare iyon!!!

huhuhu..

(pawisan ng magising)

nakakaasar ang aking panaginip. to think na over na ako eh bumibisita pa sa aking panaginip ang bangungot ng aking buhay..
kagabi kase ay aking napanaginipan si "minsang minahal" ayon sa aking panaginip nagcoconfide sya kay ces, isang kaibigan na panatiko at kritiko ng aming relasyon. wala na nga kme at nasabi niya kay ces "nuon pa man ay may puwang na sa aking buhay si marrisa" biglang nawindang ang mundo ni save "sino si marrisa????" sino nga ba siya..ayon sa nakita ko sa aking panaginip siya ay isang chinita na babae maputi at nagpapanggap na mabait sa akin. siya ang bago ni "minsang minahal" na sa buong akala ko ay si diana. pilit kong ginising ang sarili ko at sa pagkakawaglit ko sa realidad muli ako ay nasaktan sa mga katagang

"nuon pa man ay may puwang na siya sa aking buhay"

maaari itong sign ng Taas na si marrissa ay kumakatawan lamang sa totoo nitong pagkatao na sa reality ay si diana..kung man nga..ibig sabihin noon pa man bago pa ako dumating sa buhay nya ay may nakatalaga na para sa kanya...

if they are destined to be each other then it might mean that i am a "means" to bring them together. It hurts... Escaping the pain is too hard. No choice but to give way. Some things are not meant. For as long as he will be a better person and happy with that girl i'll be fine...no... im not fine with that. Its heavy. He wanted to go freedom i gave him but where am i now? not who but what is left for me. for the second time people tend to think of me as nothing..as senseless. am i really?..

least i want to happen is to be defined as an immature self-centered girl because im not that type..originally im not. my mistake! i let go of my principles . i let situations dominate my character. My mistake! thats why im suffering now. They have finished this game and left me "these" bruises that might scar forever.

selos yan!..?

nitong mga nagdaang araw eh medyo nakarecover na ako sa aking kalungkutan. nakakangiti na..nakakatawa..kahit pagdating ng gabi eh maaalala at maaalala ko na ang isang tao na nagpapasaya sa akin at sana ay nagbibigay ng lakas ay wala at malayo na.

ayoko na sana pang bisitahin ang account nya sa friendster pro hindi ko mapigil eh. haay pinapahirapan ko sarili ko sa totoo lang..lalo na nitong araw na ito narefresh kase ang pain..nakita ko kase ang picture ni..tawagin ko na lamang syang "diana" haay lalo akong nalungkot dahil ang ganda nya. ang simple and ganda magsmile mukhang mabait. kung iisipin ko nga nasa kanya na lahat ng alas pra sa ideal girl ni... kase sa aking pagkakaalam eh childhood sweethearts sila. since grade 1 yun men. magaling din kumanta pareho sila. pareho pa silang lugar anu ba yan walang lusot lahat pasok! walang hindrance between them! and sigurado na to na ang daming kikiligin kung man maging sila..(sasabihin ko sana na kung man magkatuluyan sila pro wag na lang)

insecurity ba itong nararamdaman ko o selos?? o baka naman pareho. sabi nga ng aking kaibigang si ate riza maging masaya na lang ako pra sa kanya dahil mukhang mabuting babae naman yung si diana..

ok lang ako?? paano ako magiging masaya eh ako nga ang naiwan at dahil dun yun sa rason na iyon! mahirap talaga pagtakpan ang nararamdaman pro kailangan ko iprove sa kanya na ang iniwan nyang si save ay matatag at magsusuceed sa buhay! hindi sa pagsisisihan nya ang desisyon nya kundi sa maipagmamalaki nya na naging parte ako ng buhay nya.

hmmmmm....energy is coming!..aay i mean spirit is coming my way!!!

woooaaahhh!!!! be strong! GOD is good! ;-)

(nababaliw na yata ako)

bakit ba ako dominated ng love? nakakainis!

sa wakas at nakagawa na din ako dito. madali lang pala kung baga sapat na oras lang ang kailangan pra ito mabuo. syempre kasama na din ang interest mo.
kaya lang naman ako gumawa ng ganito upang may mapagtapunan ako ng sama ng loob pro sa bagay sa kabilang banda ay maari ko rin itong lagyan ng mga interesting topics hmmm..

malungkot kase ako ngayon. napakalungkot at talagang napakalungkot. bakit? haay ewan..nakikipagtalo kse ako sa sarili kong emosyon. its hard to let go of something you still yearn for.."the feeling is gone" nga ba? sakit naman..

bukas na nga pala ang aking birthday..sa bagay kahit heartbroken eh masaya na din kase nasama na ako sa Co. bonus at increment pro kahit man isipin ko yon ay di nito mapawi ang aking nararamdaman. kahit pala san ka nakarating o kahit gaano ka nakakatulong sa iyong pamilya mananatili kang unfullfilled kung ang isang taong iyong pinagkakatiwalaan at pinaniniwalaang di ka iiwan ay wala na.

napakasakit...