bruno mars humor us!

alright.. i am offcially obssessed with Mr. Bruno Mars. talent is one thing but humor? man, this guy is so effin' hilarious! he can be cocky but in a very very adorable way! how could he be so freakin good at everything??! well..out of my obsession i'v decided to post excerpts from some of his hilarious interviews.. enjoy reading!

Lady: if you could change anything about you..what would that be
Bruno: i have too much muscles. Its just like too many..sometimes u don’t wanna have too much muscles i just want to go to the beach and take my shirt off and you know..not to have sea of women following me..so i guess thats what i would change.
^^^
DJ: Bruno mars welcome to the wake up studio
Bruno: hey..
DJ: we are pleased to have u hear
Bruno: applause anybody? (demonstrating the people in studio to applaud him..they clap)..thank you guys..seriously you don’t have to do that seriously!
^^^
DJ: what it was like to be in LA?
Bruno: naah it was tough..sad music sad music (demonstrating his band to play sad music) well it was like a dream..you know what i felt to myself if i could just get myself to LA and maybe one day..i could let a song like can change the world
^^^
lady la: please support lady la..all the proceeds go to the kids..
Bruno interrupted looking at the mag
Bruno: damn look at you..all the shelves and stuff..i don’t give a damn..pucker nose lips..
lady la: and all the proceeds will go to the..
Bruno again: but look at January..damn!
lady la: all the proceeds..
Bruno: but then look at march!
lady la: so you wanna see what Bruno is talking abou...
Bruno: not april! *lmao*
^^^
Questionnaire: which of these girls did not have a feature with timberland
Bruno: katy perry..she did! nelly furtado..she did! keri hilson..she did! paris Hilton hmmm i wonder who it is.. B. Paris Hilton! She never did nothin' with Timbaland, and she never will!! Lmao

^^^
Interviewer: which artist you wanna see aside from yourself
Bruno: oh..none
^^^
Interviewer: you are also in people magazine’s sexiest man alive issue.. is that right?
Bruno: say that again
Interviewer: yeah..you appeared in people magazine’s sexiest man alive issue
Bruno: thats right mark.. i was in people magazines sexiest man alive
^^^
after a kid perform his song in a guitar
Man: any notes for him
Bruno: uh well..you know what i mean you gotta try a little harder first of all..
People laughing
Bruno: no man he’s a star
Kid: thanks
Bruno: i quit
^^^
Interviewer: liquor store blues..my god! (his reggae song w/ damian marley)
Bruno: thank you..thank you..
Interview: everybody else can i get something hellyah for that..
Crowd: hell yeah
Bruno: how about a booyah
Crowd: BOOYAH
Bruno: ow its cool
^^^
Bruno: Ive seen travis (mcoy) doin some pretty foul thing that i don’t wanna talk about
Dj: uh we don’t wanna hear it
Bruno: no u shouldn’t
^^^
Dj: singing his song “and i tell her everyday..”
Bruno: You know damn right he does
DJ: “..and when you smile..”
Bruno: what the world do?
DJ: "the whole world stops and stares for a while.."(and continue singing)
Bruno: he never learn the song!
^^^
regarding his music video for grenade
“buts thats a heavy piano..luckily iv been doin about 800 to 967 push ups everyday so its not a big deal..i can handle it..
after pulling the piano for his music video for grenade
“i want a harmonica..”
^^^
Bruno: its just comes to me ryan don’t ask
Ryan seacrest: it just comes to you..what inspires you want to be a billionaire
Bruno: cus millions are just not enough these days.. you should know that
^^^
Ryan: your trouble maker? You’re like a clean cut trouble maker
Bruno: don’t let the looks fool you
Woman: are you in a gang or somethin?
Bruno: i punch small children
LMAO!!!!!
^^^
Interviewer: have you been sent any freebies from mars chocolate?
Bruno: no.. no.. whats up mars bars?! imma change mah name to bruno hersheys if you guys keep messin around
^^^
“so i found this hat and i just thought of wearin ‘em”
^^^
"If i was a billionare..i probably would have a diamond incrusted GOLDEN hat made of unicorn fur.. why? Do you have a diamond incrusted golden hat made of unicorn fur?.. Exactly!”
^^^
“if i could have any superpower what would it be? To steal other people's superpowers, DUH!” *f***kin genius!*
^^^
Question: if i was an actor
Bruno: Elisabeth taylor..why would i be Elizabeth? I mean talk about class.. i should be a male actor right ha..it might get creepy ..let me think of a male actor
question: if i was a colour
Bruno: id be a radical red..need i say why? oh..i need to say why?.. cus im radical?...
^^^
Interviewer: so there are four records you wrote so do you wanna share?
Bruno: oh no..i don’t
Interviewer: how about the album
Bruno: I don’t wanna talk about it either
Intervier: well..okay well how um how about this roof
This roof is really nice. I love the wood. The wood is great. I think its imported from spain maybe..
LOL
^^^
Bruno: I wish i knew what the science was or the method was. Men it can hit me at any time. i could be on the toilet..and it would just smack me in the face..
Interviewer: really..
Bruno: no.. probably not on the toilet
^^^
E! interview at the grammys
Bruno: My phone is vibrating as we speak so it could be mom or pap
JasonK: so u wanna check it we’re on the air right now.
Bruno: alryt let me see who it is
JasonK: is it moms?
Bruno: (look on the phone)no way..ohh wait hold on.. (answers the phone) OBAMA!! Haaaaa!!
Philip Lawrence: he always be calling
Bruno: he call every time yeah.. thats right seven (grammy noms). Seven..can you believe that?!
JasonK: ask him if he watches E news
Bruno: yo, you watch E news? Uhm no you don’t.. he doesn’t watch E news
JasonK: uhm on screen awkwardness..
^^^
DJ: so where were you when you first heard your single on the radio
Bruno: i was on my Honda civic.. now im in my private jet! *LMFAO!!!
^^^
Asian Interviewer: so would you rather acoustic or electric?
Bruno: sittin next to you..electric (interviewer giggling)
Asian interviewer: blonde or brunette?
Bruno: sitting next to you..BLONDE! waaaaah
*lmao*
^^^
Asian interviewer: lets talk ladies fashion for a sec
Bruno: oh that my expertise
Asian Interviewer: really?
Bruno: no
^^^
Bruno: time for my French
French DJ: you speak French?
Bruno: no
^^^
Interviewer: you were just named TIME’s most influential people.. how does it make you feel?
Bruno: oh we paid alot of money to get that spot.
^^^
DJ: your smellin good..what do you wearing?
Bruno: you know what, its my new fragrance that im gonna put out
DJ: called ‘grenade’?
Bruno: yeah called grenade for men
DJ: i’ll catch one for you
Bruno: you gotta catch em..catch em in stores 3 easy payments $19.95
^^^
Bruno covering some medley songs..
one requested ‘eye of the tiger’
host: no way u guys get this one..no way
Bruno: well..you’re in for a treat! (he sing and killed it)
^^^
“whats next? Take over the fashion game with my boyish good looks and my pecks and my abs and my triceps. Why are you laughing? I don’t understand.”
^^^
Kid: i know you’re justin biever
Bruno: im not ju... who sent you and who you are working for?
^^^
lady DJ: tell me the truth. Would you really step in front of the grenade?
Nick cannon: i aint catchin a grenade
Bruno: c’mon you’r lying..absolutely..
lady DJ: would you do it for me?
Bruno: if you keep winking at me like that hell yeah!
Nick cannon: somebody’s gonna get pregnant tonight!
*People in studio screaming w/ laughter
^^^
Bruno in ustream
“do a lion roar please” “reow?” “why is the striptease comin? what all these striptease about? Is that the kind of artist i’am? I would just give stripteases? Look i know im in a top physical shape aryt but i think the striptease might be going a little over boring so you guys might have cool out with that striptease stuff! ..alright imma give you striptease..here you go..” (he dancing..lol) “what is your phone number?” “my phone number is 1800..IM NOT GIVING YOU MY PHONE NUMBER!” “do you have beaver fever?” “who doesn’t have beaver fever?..the question is do you have that MARS SARS??! Boom.. she got mars sars see..wev got one down and a billion more to go”
^^^
Billy bush: why do Hawaiian people love spam?
Bruno: first of all why don’t you love spam? Thats the real question. (billy is laughing) Spam is..you see people knock on spam..listen, the thing about spam is you just gotta jump in. You gotta dive in. Don’t you dare think about whats in there. Just go in there with an open mind and an open heart and you’ll end up loving it.
^^^
Billy bush: the Hawaiian sensation the great Bruno mars is in the studio.
Bruno: the Hawaiian sensation?..can i be the Hawaiian lion?
^^^
Billy: is there any woman in the past?
Bruno: i don’t wanna put it out there but hally berry has scorned me! Lmao
^^^
Billy: do you write from personal experiences?
Bruno: everything i write is from my heart and soul
Billy: can u get her back now?
Bruno: i don’t want her back
Billy: i like that

^^^
Billy: what good is life right now? How is that changed?
Bruno: men im sittin next to billy freaking bush right now..thats how life has changed
Billy: your coast to coast baby.. your worldwide like Kentucky fries
^^^
Billy: the two hottest record we have right now are Bruno mars records.
Bruno: the Hawaiian lion
Billy: the Hawaiian lion! Who is the Hawaiian lion?
Bruno: reow *lmao!!
^^^
"Its hard for me to explain..some people have and some people don’t .. and i have!"
^^^
Billy: little elvis..honeymoon in vegas (movie) that was you, you adorable little kid. That was cute!
Bruno: i was a thug. Don’t get it twisted.
^^^
Billy: your family is musical
Bruno: yeah.. my dad is a latin percussionist, my mom is an incredible singer. All my sisters sing, my uncle sings.
Billy: or the jacksons and you’re the little michael out there
Bruno: i’ll take it
^^^
Billy: so you have a girlfriend right now?
Bruno: yeah..man im in a very very awesome relationship right now.
Billy: so tell me about it
Bruno: its... awesome
Billy: c’mon! Are you going to get married early or you’re gonna stay single for a while?
Bruno: you know what?.. im gonna live my life and i suggest you live yours too and go the next question cause this interview is getting a little weird! *he's really good in dodging such questions*
^^^
In today show
Host: so you will continue to write music for others?
Bruno: Absolutely not. Im done!
^^^
DJ: what would be your perfect date?
Bruno: laugh (audience says uuhhhh) look at this people..uhhhh
DJ: i think you can say anything and they will say uhhhh
Audience question: what do you do before you sleep?
Bruno: i write love songs
Audience: uuhhhhh
Audience question: what is your inspiration for these love songs
Bruno: get ready for the uuhh, get ready for the uuhh.. you know, women are my inspirations
Audience: uuhhhhh *LMAO

^^^