way too responsible

Hay gusto ko yatang umiyak..
I feel bad today..
I made one big blunder and I feel terribly bad about it.

It has been a month now since I handle the work of Nadine. It’s fun. I’m doing fine and I thought everything is under control not until this Ewan Apartment issue. Kase I have this list I got from Nadine and for Building 58-204 it shows that their payment was due last 3rd June 2007. So from an employee’s point of view I need to make immediate action. Since its due for almost 2months now and no payment was made to date I decided to disconnect our services. It means no A/C for them..mistake is i made that decision by myself without informing the tenant and without asking advice to my collleages..this is Dubai..It’s a gulf country..Everybody is experiencing extreme heat and main demand is cooling then i disconnect the services right away. Why on earth I didn’t think of that?!! I’m being work-centered. I only think of on how efficient I’ am as regards to my work-description and that I lack concern for the tenants.

Don’t know but it’s very hard. Your giving your best shot to be responsible on things laid on you then in the end being way too responsible led to a work-inadequacy.
mabigat talaga ang responsibility kong hawak ngayon and I need to be an efficient employee for the co. and at the same time an effective employee as to attend customer’s needs.

I apologized to Mr. Hashim, the tenant from that apartment who is by the way a financial controller of a big Co. I made a big boss suffer..too bad.

This should serve a lesson for me..not to lay all the decisions upon my shoulder and think before doing serious actions. Though being responsible may be enough yet being a concerned employee is better.

down in the dumps

I can’t discern what to utter and to accomplish. something cleaves in me
I crave for this but didn’t desire
I am in pain and powerless to define what is in me that am so flawed. Do I detest life? For this minute am I allowing regrets as true?

No…I don’t want to breathe life as glum & blue I want to deal with it in idyllic manner

I’m cheerless and disheartened.

Pleased hinder not from depicting my true sense in this purported so called life
Assist me in naming all the weakness and wrong events I ended long then
I want to emerge as standard. Just as others. Just as them. Help me please somebody help….! But no one can.. Only i.. Only me..

i have broken someone's routine

Yesterday I ride with Mr. Anas our Asst. Project Manager. The trip is like passing from Layac Bataan to San Fernando Pampangga. A 1-hour trip. That point would be a good chance for us to have this little getting-to-know conversation. In the middle of our trip he ask me how do I see life...geez!!! seems quite a long time that kind of question pitched on me. He got me thinking by that question. He said in every part of us there is this feeling of freedom you want to have. He has his family w/ him, a good work, a nice car and been to different places but still there is an empy space. He might sound selfish to others but its not a matter of selfishness he said. I understand what he wants to express. I told him that life here in Dubai is routinary. You’re waking up to work going home to sleep. “exactly” that's what he responded. Life is a routine! And sometimes he feels like this emptiness might break his routine. So I told him that life is really hard and it’s only in us on how to make it simple yet meaningful. Someday he will find what’s missing and he will eventually feel satisfied and fulfilled. I really enjoyed that conversation reflections of life and the true riches of it. esp nowadays that i'm getting confused with what im becoming..if i'm being overdrivven with material pleasures. But i guess that conversation gave me an answer.

Before he drop me he said this..

“thank you kathy..you break my routine today.”

ako pala ang nawalan..

habang sinusulat ko ang latest update ko dito nabanggit ko si "minsan naging matalik na kaibigan"..haay

isa kase siya sa taong may malaking contribution sa kung anung sitwasyon mayroon ako ngayon..

naisip ko lang na..siya at ang aking unang minahal ay magkasama..
si minsang minahal at ang kanyang prinsesa ay magksama..

ako pala..

ako pala ang nawalan..

ibig sabihin ba nito ako ang nagkamali?..ako nga ba?..ako nga kaya?...

Oversee overseas

May tawag na naman daw si sir from piyu. Naalala nya tuloy kameng mga estudyante nya. Ayus at sa isang kategoryang sinabi nya ay kasali ako..ang kategoryang nangibang bansa..ngunit sa part kaya ni sir eh masaya sya sa ganon..i mean knowing sir paeng eh makabayan yan and working abroad is not his option. malungkot man isipin at tanggapin reality bites eh napakahirap mamuhay sa atin ngayon. Sa bagay sa sitwasyon ko naman eh di dahil sa kahirapan ng buhay kung bakit ako umalis kundi sa isang napakahalagang rason..ang dugsungan ng buhay ang aking ina..

Looking back..working abroad is really one of my dreams. Never did i expect it will come well this early perhaps. And here I am working earning achieving but I miss a LOT of my true riches and that is my family and friends. Sabi ni minsang minahal na pag ng-abroad ka sayang ang panahon na mawawalay ka sa iyong pamilya sabi naman ng minsang kong naging matalik na kaibigan kaya nga “love is sacrifice” nagsasakrispisyo ka dahil para din yon sa mga taong mahal mo. Saan nga ba ako lulugar? sa bagay sa palagay ko kahit naman sino ay aayon sa desisyon kong mangibang bansa hindi lang naman dahil sa rason ng kaginhawaan kundi dahil sa kailangan.

…teka naisip ko lang ako pala ang nawalan

puro na lng returned cheques

hay kainis!
Puro na lang returned cheques
Wala ba silang pera at laging insufficient fund
Iba naman pirma na lng nalilimot pa
Wala man lang akong contact numbers..ni fax..ni e-add..gagawa n nmn ako letter tapos sasabihin nila di nila natanggap...grrrr!!!!
hay mga tenants sakit sa ulo!..tsubra!!!!